lynthia: (polycon)
[personal profile] lynthia
Finally, FINALLY had my endocrinologist appointment today. Yes, he's that good, it took 6 weeks to get in.

To quickly recap, I was beyond frustrated that despite my efforts I had actually started gaining weight. I had a bit of a moment about it, and then started trying to do something about it. Called and made the appointment to get the thyroid checked (I'm hypothyroid, maybe my meds were off), and then stepped up my efforts in the meantime. I promised myself that if I could keep it up for the six weeks until the appointment, one of two things would happen. Either I would make progress and that's a win, or I wouldn't and I would have some very solid evidence for my doctor that something was wrong.

So for six weeks, I've been going to the gym three times a week for an hour at a time. I kept my daily calories to no more than 1,500 per day, even on work out days. And, biggest of all for me, I radically reduced how much soda I drink. I admit, my habit had gotten pretty bad. Four or five cans a day bad, which adds up to at least 600 calories a day in Pepsi alone. So I dropped it down to one can per day and started drinking the recommended 64 oz of water instead. (Interesting side note: no caffeine headaches as a result. How was I drinking that much caffeinated soda every day but not getting hooked? Sugar, however, did matter. My sugar cravings are still killing me, even six weeks later.)

Anyway. Despite all that, after an initial drop of a few pounds (I assume because of the water intake), no movement. The scale remains stubborn. Some days I'll be down a pound, and then it just goes right back. So I did in fact have the evidence to take to the doctor that something is just not right, because that much of a change over that period of time really should have SOME effect. I'm not looking to be a runway model, people, just maybe fit into my skinny jeans again. So I went over all of it with my doctor, and added in the bit where I'm trying to get pregnant again, and I am not excited about the idea of putting on a lot of unnecessary weight that I then can't get rid of.

I could go into all the stuff that he told me, but I'm already getting kind of bored with myself. So here's the short version.
Good: He agrees, something is not right, and he knows what treatment he will suggest.
Bad: Will, in the future. Because the additional hormone he wants to prescribe cannot be recommended for a pregnant woman.


I can't even explain how frustrated I am. I keep telling myself that it's probably better than having been on the secondary treatment and then having to stop in order to get/stay pregnant. This is better. I'm used to this. I may not love it, but I am used to it. I've been this squishy self for a good long time now. But ARGH. Maybe there is an answer to this frustration, to feeling like I'm just a fat mouse on a wheel who won't ever get anywhere, and I want to start figuring that out RIGHT NOW.

I swear, we had better get pregnant fast. I'm going to be so annoyed if this takes too long.
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Hallie Smith

November 2016

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